Luna Random?
by green4356
Summary: Why Luna acts like Luna.
1. Chapter 1

There was no particular reason why Luna Lovegood was sat on the left-hand-side seat nearest the widow in the 14th compartment from the front of the Hogwart's Express, or, indeed, why the window of the before-mentioned compartment was open at an angle of precisely eight-five degrees, emitting a freezing cold breeze.

There was definitely no particular reason why a spell making the 14th compartment from the front of the Hogwart's Express inaccessible and invisible had been expertly cast by the 17 inch griffin-feather wand currently held by the second and third fingers of the sole person occupying the same compartment.

There was of course _no _reason why Luna was holding her left hand out of the window, and staring anxiously out through the glass. Why would there be?

So of course, it would make no one curious or in the least bit suspicious to know that when a strange, glowing blue ball finally sped straight into Luna's grasp, she wasn't the least surprised, but, on the contrary, slightly relieved, and that she squeezed it carefully and it opened up into a copy of the Quibbler, which she turned to the 14th page, to the left-hand-side article, closest to the edge of the page, read it slowly, and breathed a sigh of relief.

For the moment, they were safe.

Luna looked back at the door, twitched her wand (which made a sound like someone putting their finger in the corner of their mouth to imitate the noise of a cork coming out of a champagne bottle) and when Ginny Weasley and Colin Creevy arrived she was reading about the Lesser-Spotted Traddlepot of Somerset upside down.

"Hello, Luna!" Said Ginny in her marvellously jolly way, and Colin grinned at her. "Bit chilly, eh?"

"It is probably something to do with the Lesser-Spotted Traddlepots… I hear they emit cold breezes." Answered Luna, and ignored Colin when he snorted loudly.

"Where from?" He said, and erupted into giggles.

"Their ears, of course."

"Otherwise harmless, I should hope?" Ginny said, and winked sideways at Colin, who was now shaking quite violently.

"On the contrary…" Luna murmured, and then said more loudly, "I _do _hope you haven't started a twitch, Ginny?"

Ginny smiled, nervously, "I'm a bit stressed at the moment."

"But then, aren't we all." Added Colin, making a desperate save.

There was a pause, and both of them stared anxiously at Luna.

"It's probably just the Norlocks." Said Luna, finally, and turned back to the Quibbler. For a while there was complete silence, Luna reading, Colin gazing out of the window, and Ginny asleep in her chair.

There was a sudden crack and when Ginny looked up, she found that the ends of her hair had suddenly turned a liivid purple, and a moment later it startedto flash brightly.

"What the-"

"I was just wondering what it would look like, sorry." Luna supplied, and gave an apologetic smile.

"Well would you mind turning it back again? Some time soon? Perhaps in the next few seconds?" Flared up Ginny, and her nose turned red at the tip.

"Right. One moment. I just need to remember how to. Tip of my tongue, you know. Hmmmm." Luna replied dreamily, closed her eyes, and then began to mutter.

The other two leaned in carefully, trying to catch what she was saying.

"Purple. Whether the weather is hot... Rumplestiltskin. Hair. Blonde. Yellow. Clown's feet. Hmmmm. Apricots. Orange. Rainbow. No. Of course not. Pink. Hmmmm. Perhaps, at a pinch. No. Well..."

"Would you hurry up, Luna?" Ginny said, a little louder than she had to.

Luna opened her eyes and sat up. "Oh dear. You broke my thought stream. I was so sure I was almost there. Well. Never mind. It will wear off eventually, of course."

"What do you mean it'll wear off eventually? I can't go into school like this, can I? People will think I've gone mad!"

"Well, I can't remember now, naturally."

"Natur-"

"You interrupted me. I can never remember when that happens. It'll wear off eventu-"

"Eventually, yes I know, you said that already!"

"You're so cool, you'll start a new fashion anyway." Said Colin, loyally.

Ginny turned on him. "Well you would, wouldn't you, and you know why? You have _no _taste whatsoever."

"Why if you ask me -" Colin said, hotly.

"Well that's the point, isn't it? I'm not!"

" - if you ask me, you should be shouting at Luna, not me!" Colin continued.

Ginny smiled slightly, and said, "Well, you've finally shown some sense." She turned towards the window, but when she looked, Luna was gone.

"What the -"


	2. Chapter 2

Luna made her way along the corridor, humming to herself, her trunk (who she fondly called Rupert) wandering along behind her, apparently of its own will. She stopped just beside a window ledge and a moment later all that could be seen of Luna Lovegood was a large mound behind the curtain.

A little while later the curtain froze when three Slytherins entered the room and started to talk to each other in low voices.

"January 4th… I didn't think it would be so soon." Said the first, Morgan.

"You're not supposed to think about it at all, are you? The less you think, the easier it will be." Replied the second.

"Still – I didn't realise – I don't think I'm ready – "

"Don't think about it then," Broke in the third in a sensible voice, "just come down with us at 16:30, do what you have to and before you know it we're back at Hogwarts, innocent as a newly shelled pea."

"A newly shelled pea?"

"The simile doesn't matter." Continued the third one a little quickly, "It's the point I'm trying to get into your thick skull that counts."

"Here! Who are you trying to call thick?" Cried out the first.

"You."

"Oh."

"Glad you've understood so easily. Well, now we've got that sorted, we'd better get back to our compartment before someone misses us."

The curtain stirred a little and a little while later Luna stepped out, yawned, and made her way dreamily back to the compartment, followed by the obedient Rupert.

Dumbledore sat down and surveyed his student population with a twinkle in his eye. It was all very busy at the moment, with all the students hurriedly conveying to each other the stories of their holidays.

Harry, of course, was sat at the Gryffindor table, the slightly depressed look a permanent feature of his face. The unfortunately named Peter Radish, over in Hufflepuff, was yet again experimenting with making his potatoes dance, and only succeeding in yet again making them kick all the other occupants of the table. Although, he reflected, this _could _of course be seen as quite a success. Indeed, if one made the potatoes slightly bigger, it was guaranteed to have the element of surprise against Death Eaters when their Sunday roast suddenly began attacking them.

He looked over towards the Ravenclaw table, and his eyes widened slightly as they caught sight of Luna Lovegood's radish earrings, which were currently flashing a rather vulgar yellow, rather like an aeroplane coming to land.

She was apparently completely unaware of the attention these were causing, and was dreamily spooning the contents of a jar of peanut butter into her mouth, and smiling contentedly.

Suddenly she put down her now empty jar of peanut butter, and looked around. A house elf scurried up to her at once, bowed deeply, and handed her three extra jars. This caused a shocked whisper around the Hall, and even the Slytherin table looked vaguely impressed as she dipped into her second jar without even looking up.

Dumbledore smiled heartily. She was very good at her job.


	3. Chapter 3

The feast had finished, the last apple pie had safely disappeared back to the kitchens, and only a few of the student body left.

There was a sudden stillness from a group of second year Gryffindors as Dumbledore passed out of the room, sucking on a bag of Peppermint Shoots, but once he had gone they began to renew their efforts to change the Slytherin table a fetching rose pink. This, of course, didn't work.

Ginny, Colin and Luna looked on interest, Ginny wrapping a purple strand round her finger thoughtfully.

"They're never going to manage it," said Ginny, "but do you think we should tell them about the ancient protection spells stopping any harm being done to the tables?"

"No," replied Colin. "It's a good teambuilding exercise, and just look how much fun they're having."

This comment was directed at a plump, uncommonly red-faced Gryffindor who was currently shouting happily at the top of his lungs towards the table, waggling his fingers.

The trio stood looking at them, Colin and Ginny calling out what the group thought was serious advice, but was in fact just advice that was funny to watch. Luna sat down on a bench, her brow screwed up in thought.

Suddenly she clicked her fingers, and said to no one in particular, "I must remember to redo my transfiguration homework. It was stolen by Nargles, you know."

Neither of her friends were listening, for the Gryffindor table had turned a sudden blushing pink, and the group of second years were now beginning to have a heated discussion about who had done such a dreadful deed, and why they hadn't done it on the Slytherin table instead.

"Well that's a pretty poor show, I must say." Said Ginny, angrily, "Why would a Gryffindor want to do that?"

"It wasn't very noble at all!" Colin broke in, and together they marched over to the little group to have a little talk with them.

When somebody finally caught sight of Mrs Norris sauntering down corridor, and the occupants of the room were sprinting down the corridors at top speed, nobody even thought to wonder where Luna had gone.

* * *

It was a little while before Luna decided it was safe enough for her to go and make her report. She slipped through her final tapestry (a pumpkin selling glass slippers) and flew across the room, wings beating like pixie fingers, keeping to the darkest corners.

There was a peculiar, heavy thump, and she stood in front of the gargoyles to whisper, almost silently, "Peppermint Shoots" and climbed the winding staircase to the very last stair.

She knocked softly on the heavy wooden door, and watched carefully as a shadow skittered behind it and stopped in front, and the door swung wide on oiled hinges.

She stepped in, smiled dreamily at Dumbledore, and turned to face her father, standing, as always, in one of the darkest corners of the room.

"I think I know, now."

The door swung shut behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

Dumbledore leaned over his desk, and looked at McGonagall, dressed in a lilac dressing gown and her stylish green witch hat.

"I believe, Minerva, that for a long time you have wondered how I have known so much about the goings on in the school."

"Albus -"

"And I also know that you are not the only one to have wondered. In fact, I have it on the best of authorities that one member of staff stoutly claimed for years that I could transform myself into kidney beans, in this way managing to see and hear everything going on at the tables while also being completely safe, since nobody likes and could therefore never _bear _to eat kidney beans."

"Well, actually -"

"In fact, Minerva, this would have been a good notion, since it is a little known fact that house elves have a way of keeping food fresh so that the very same kidney beans lying on the table every day are in fact the very same kidney beans that were there five centuries ago."

"What?"

"They are, in a way, part of Hogwart's historical heritage, particularly as I have it on good authority that Rowena Ravenclaw on one occasion actually spat one bean back into the bowl, and it still remains there to this very day."

"That is quite -"

"Amazing, yes I know, my dear Minerva. Still, my mind is wandering."

"As usual," muttered McGonagall.

"You wished to know how I know everything that goes on in the school."

"I actually wanted to sleep," continued McGonagall, sotto voice.

"And the answer is: that I don't."

"What?"

"_I _don't know but there is somebody in this school who makes it their business _to _know everything that goes on. In fact, the business has been in their family for generations, and for generations children of this particular family have been trained for the job by practising in Hogwarts, while, of course, making frequent reports to the headmaster of the time."

There was a moment of dramatic silence.

"Perhaps we should give the giant squid a mate. Sometimes it seems rather lone -"

"Albus! This… spy, you were mentioning."

"Oh yes, oh yes, quite. I was forgetting. And the name of the spy, is…"

* * *

Luna Lovegood sat in the library knitting a blue and brown scarf. Contrary to usual opinion, she did actually sometimes display house feeling, but in her own particular way.

This sometimes broadcast itself in the things that she ate for breakfast. Blueberries and brown bread were not an unusual combination for her morning repast. Once she had even gone so far as to accidentally transform the robes of the Slytherins into her house colours.

As she walked towards the door, she quietly noted that Isaac Wembley was staring helplessly at his hands which he had turned a vivid orange. By the time she had closed the door neatly behind her, his hands were their normal colour.


	5. Chapter 5

"What?" Screeched Professor McGonagall, and Dumbledore looked mildly surprised.

"Of course. Who else could it be? A very, very old family, but highly reclusive - rarely seen in public - and many of the other wizarding families regard them as oddballs."

"I can see where they're coming from." McGonagall muttered.

"If you look at their family trees, however, you will see that they are joined with nearly ever other wizarding bloodline. Even those with… sour reputations.

"You might say that they, ahem, love good so much that they give up their lives for the protection of it. Which brings me to the point."

"Yes, Albus?"

"I have received information that there is to be an attack on Honeydukes on the 4th of January at 16:30. I will need to you rally round as many of the Order of the Phoenix as you can find at such short notice."

"Of course." Replied McGonagall, and she turned to leave. Dumbledore's voice stopped her.

"And you shall _not_, for any reason, or to anyone, pass on the knowledge regarding this particular family."

* * *

The D.A. had gathered together in the Room of Requirement for their monthly meeting. Now that the attacks had slowed down, and also, perhaps more importantly, exams were coming up, the meetings were usually short and to the point.

Harry Potter looked around, gloomily. "Does anyone have anything of interest to report? Anything at all? Because I really have to finish off my Potions essay."

There was a decisive shaking of heads, and Harry sighed with relief. "Good. I suppose then, that this meeting is adjourn -"

"Perhaps," said a clear but dreamy voice from the very back, "it would be a good idea if we made a patrol rota and people went round the school in groups when it gets dark. There is a sense of… heaviness round the school."

Harry sighed, grumpily. "Heaviness? You all know that I appreciate suggestions at all times, but we can't very well go on a _feeling_, and I for one am finding Charms a bit fiddly at the moment, so - "

"It's true, Harry." Neville Longbottom said suddenly. "There is a weird sense going round the school. It's as if we're all waiting for something to happen.."

"It's called foreboding, Neville," Hermione said, and then shook her head slowly, "but I must admit that there is certainly _something _in the air. Maybe we should make a patrol. Just to be on the safe side."

There was a stir and the sound of people agreeing, only very, very quietly, just in case nobody else did.

"Right then." Harry sighed. "I suppose that if we must, we must. All those that wish to make a patrol rota say I."

"I." Replied everyone, and Harry looked vaguely surprised.

"Alright then. Meet here at the same time tomorrow and we'll draw it up. But I'm warning you, if I don't get at lease anAcceptable in my next Charms exam, I'm not fighting the Dark Lord."


	6. Chapter 6

Harry Potter lowered his head into his hands and groaned loudly. "When will it all end?"

"If you don't stop groaning I would hazard a guess it will end very, very quickly." Responded Ronald and then turned back, flicked his wand and suddenly gaped in silent awe as his pen turned into a ping-pong ball,

"Hey – look at that – and I didn't even begin to say anything…"

"And you don't think either, do you? So it's not silent magic." Continued Harry, still stinging from Ronald's lack of sympathy.

"Maybe – just maybe – I have this talent, right, for… "

"That would be a first."

"…turning stuff into other stuff, right…"

"It's called Transfiguration, and you've been learning it since you were eleven."

"…but it only works when I don't do anything…"

"I can sense this is building up to something."

"…so in my exam..."

"Which is in four months, two days, six hours and twenty minutes."

"…all I have to do is sit there…"

"How does that differ from usual then?"

"…and I'll sail past with full marks…"

"Please, please, just stop talking."

"…so I don't have to do any revision."

There was a pause.

"You don't have to do any revision."

"That's what I said, yes."

"Then prove it."

"Prove what?"

"That it wasn't just a fluke, that you can actually turn your pen into a ping-pong ball every single time."

"Well I can't."

Harry sighed. "Then what were you going on about for the last five minutes?"

"I meant that I can't do it, because I'm thinking about it."

"Right."

"Yes."

"But you won't be thinking about it in the exam?"

"Er… what time is it?"

"Six o'clock."

"Aren't we supposed to be having a D.A. meeting?"

* * *

When Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley arrived in the Room of Requirement, they found the members of the D.A. sat around in cushy sofas, waiting for something to happen.

Harry strode manfully to the front. "Good evening, comrades."

"Good evening." Everyone chorused, dutifully.

"First item of the agenda," said Harry, and then glanced suspiciously at his watch, "and hopefully the last, the patrols. Now, who made the list of patrols?"

There was no answer.

Harry frowned. "Did we not decide on somebody? Fine then, who suggested the idea?"

A solitary hand rose from the midst of the crowd.

"Then you're in charge. When you've finished, give me the list and we'll hand it round from there. Second item, has somebody nicked Neville's toad?"

Somebody, somewhere,smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

It had become night, and Luna was sitting in the darkest corner of the Gryffindor Common Room. She was holding a pen in her hand and staring down at a sheet of paper, which was perfectly smooth. There was no moon, and the only light came from a single candle, perched on top of a table on the opposite side of the room, and this only let out a small, wavering, glinting light, so it was almost impossible to see anything at all.

If you could see something, you would have seen that the pen in Luna Lovegood's hand, was, in fact, quivering slightly, much like the candle. Luna's face betrayed no reason as to _why _the pen was quivering, since it was as smooth as the piece of paper, and smiling calmly.

Indeed, it would have been almost impossible to guess that Luna Lovegood was at that moment completely and utterly terrified. Except that the pen was shaking.

Suddenly, the fire in the burst into life and a figure crept down the stairs, crossed the room and slipped out of the portrait.

Luna's smiled widened further, and suddenly the spell was broken. She pinned the list to the wall and was gone, luckily in the opposite direction to Martin McGorthy, the Gryffindor, who had just gone out on a typical Gryffindor mini adventure, involving dancing radishes and hot cross buns.

And the candle went out.

* * *

The next day found the members of the DA clustered in groups, waving perfectly smooth pieces of paper around and talking in quiet voices.

"I wish," said Herbert Bell, "that I knew how to do that spell. Look – crush it, crumple it, folded it, and then when you undo it again you it's completely smooth! It's amazing! It would have saved me all that trouble with Snape as well."

"Have you even looked at what's _on _the sheet, Herbert?" said Hermione Granger, with a perfunctory sigh.

"I was just about to, actually." He said, opened it out and glanced down at its contents, folded it again, looked up and said, "Looks all right to me."

Then he slowly looked down again, and unfolded it, very, very slowly.

"Good morning, Mr Bell," said the little face on the sheet, "I am your Rota."

Mr Bell screamed (girlishly) and fainted.


	8. Chapter 8

That evening, many of the occupants of Hogwarts who were not in the DA were surprised to see quite a few students staring down at blank sheets of paper and then getting up and walking purposefully out of the room.

For a while, wild rumours went round, some not really related… McGonagall was actually Cornelius Fudge in disguise… there was going to be yet another Triwizard tournament, and the ones with the pieces of paper were being invited to try to compete in it… the Hogwarts umbrellas were to be turned green and silver by Martin Lewis of Slytherin… the pieces of paper were talking to the students…

Finally, a rumour came round that nudged all the others related to the piece of paper scandal out (the one about Fudge/McGonagall remained firmly in circulation for the rest of the term). Someone had given out these sheets of paper as a sort of challenge, to see if anyone could uncover the message in them. It would be advisable not to ask anyone about where to find one, as this was seen as cheating by the inventor of the challenge and she had therefore charmed the paper to turn the person asking into a small, pink rubber duck (this was actually proven by Martin Lewis of Slytherin, 9th April, 14:00, in second aisle of the library).

So it all faded into old Hogwarts history, and anyone seen with the pieces of paper got the odd respectful nod from passers by.

"Mine says it's called Arnold." announced Herbert Bell to the DA.

"Mine's called Eliza." said Ginny Weasley, looking down at hers thoughtfully. "She's really useful, actually, not just for the Rota, either. She tells me if I've got homework that's due in for tomorrow to all the really nasty professors… you know, professors like Snape and McGonnagall."

There was a general nodding, and Martin McGorthy came forward, "Adam will tell me where I've left something if I ask him to."

"Mine too!" Said Felicity Sickle, "I found out when I was looking for poor Martin Lewis. Dropped him in a puddle by accident on the way to Herbology."

There was a quiet snigger from most of the occupants of the room, all apart from Martin Lewis, who was strangely silent.

"Who did the Rotas anyway?" asked Ginny Weasley. "Does _anyone _know?"

Everyone shook their heads. Then Colin Creevey piped up from a large, cushy, pink armchair in the corner. "Has anyone thought to ask the Rotas?"


	9. Chapter 9

Ginny looked down at her Rota, and then said, slowly, "Eliza, who created you?"

"A member of the DA," said Eliza, smiling, "I believe Mr. Potter asked her to."

"Her?"

"Yes," said Eliza, still smiling. "I believe Mr. Potter asked her to."

"So Harry knows who created you?" Ginny asked, and then looked over to where Harry was staring at his banana in thoughtful wonder. "Harry, who made the Rotas?"

Harry looked up, frownedand then said, "That person who suggested them." He turned back to his banana.

"_Who _suggested them then?" said Colin Creevey, from his large, cushy, pink armchair in the corner.

"I don't know! Ok?" said Harry, a little louder than was perhaps necessary. "Look, I need to be able to this banana into a fish by the end of the day. A sodding fish, ok? And I can't. But perhaps, if you STOPPED ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS I would have more of a chance."

"Sorry Harry."

"Yeah, sorry Harry."

"Didn't mean to get you mad, or anything."

"I'M NOT MAD."

* * *

Luna Lovegood stared out of the window. She was in Transfiguration, and at the front of the class McGonagall appeared to be advising the class how to turn a doorknob into a toad. 

While she was staring, her hand made quick, precise notes with a quill onto a sheet of perfectly smooth paper.

"Miss Lovegood, perhaps you would favour us with a moment of your attention. _If _you wouldn't mind showing us how it's done, why don't you turn this doorknob into a toad. _Since_ you seem so confident you have no need to listen to me any more."

Luna turned her head slowly, and for a fraction of a second looked straight at McGonagall. Then she put down her pen, picked up her wand… and then put it down again. She looked over towards the doorknob.

The doorknob turned into a small tortoiseshell cat, with faint, spectacle-like markings round its face.

"Oops." Said Luna.

And finally Minerva McGonagall believed.


	10. Chapter 10

"You know," said Ginny Weasley, twisting a strand of red-purple hair round her finger, "there's something very strange about Luna."

"Since when hasn't there been?" Colin Creevey laughed between mouthfuls of Harry Potter's banana.

"No, I mean stranger than usual. I keep turning round and she's disappeared."

"Well, you know, you are a bit taller than she is. Maybe if you looked _down _slightly, you'd see her more easily."

"Shut up. No, she really _does _vanish. Wait a moment…"

"I'm sure she doesn't _vanish_. It's probably just your imagination. Although, now I come to think of it, we are in a school of witchcraft and wizardry, so maybe it wouldn't be _so _surprising. Ginny?"

There was no reply.

"Well look at that. Just me and you now, Mr. Banana, I suppose."

* * *

Harry Potter was searching under a cushion in his dormitory. He was looking for his banana, which had mysteriously disappeared during that lastDA meeting.

"Harry?" said a voice behind him, and he sprang up, rolled under the table and had his wand in his hand ready for action before the owner could say another word.

"Oh, it's you, Ginny. Sorry, just a bit jumpy, what with this Transfiguration exam coming up and having to defeat the Dark Lord."

Ginny privately decided that Harry had some issues. "Harry, I don't suppose I could sneak a look at that map that my brother's gave you? The Marauder's Map?"

"What map? I don't know of any map of that name! Are you sure that you heard correctly? You couldn't be asking the wrong person, could you? Oh, sorry. Old reflexes, you know how it is."

Ginny, who could no longer go into a bathroom without a wand at the ready and who at the mention of the word "snake" couldn't help shouting out "can't say I've ever seen one, must be someone else you're thinking of", "I can remember where I am at all times, thank you very much" and "the Dark Lord is _so _not controlling me", smiled slightly. "It must be hard. So could I have a look at it?"

"The map? Sure, here it is."

He handed the map over to her and she sat down on the bed, looking over it with extreme care. "Found what you were looking for?"

"No. Harry, have you ever heard of someone being in Hogwarts but _not _showing up on the map?"

"No, I think it pretty much shows everyone."

"Then I think we have to go and see Dumbledore. Now.


	11. Chapter 11

Dumbledore heard a slight scuffling sound and turned round expectantly. A small piece of paper flittered down and landed by his hand.

_Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter are approaching your door, with the intent of informing you of the absence of Luna Lovegood from the Marauders' Map. The pair will arrive as soon as you finish reading this note. Please tell them of Luna Lovegood's peculiar ancestry in regard to mythical creatures, and then ask them to contact her in regard to their questions. _

There was a knock on the door, and the note crumbled to dust.

"Enter, Miss Weasley, Mr Potter."

The door opened and two startled faces peered in at him.

"Sorry, professor" began Ginny Weasley, overcoming her shock, "but we need to talk to you, urgently."

"Please take a seat," said Dumbledore, and leaned back in his chair, "I am completely at your disposal."

The two sat down in the comfortable chairs in front of his desk, and looked at each other. Harry Potter scratched his nose.

Ginny took a deep breath, and said, "Well, professor, I started to notice that Luna Lovegood was beginning to act a little strangely -"

"_More _strangely," muttered Harry, leaning back in his chair.

"– she had begun to disappear quite frequently, and really oddly. Obviously you can't apparate in Hogwarts, or on Hogwarts grounds, and yet one moment she would be there, in the middle of the room, and then next moment she would be completely gone.

"So suddenly I decided to go and check on Harry's map… but she wasn't on there."

"Which proves what, exactly?" Said Dumbledore, smiling calmly.

"Well, that Luna Lovegood is not in Hogwarts."

"No it doesn't."

"What?"

"I take it that this map that you were referring to is that of the Marauders' Map?"

"Yes, that's right," said Harry.

"Well then, you should know that it will never show Luna Lovegood, even when she _is _in Hogwarts."

"But," said Harry, argumentatively, "it shows everyone in Hogwarts… doesn't it?"

"No. Not Luna Lovegood. She is part **Amadán."**

**There was complete silence. **

**"You see, this is where we need Hermione," said Harry, thoughtfully.**

**Dumbledore sighed. "The Amadán are a type of Irish faerie. They can cause death with the touch of a finger, and mostly appear in the moonlight and during the month of June. **

**"Somehow, Luna Lovegood has inherited from that part of her blood an odd gift. She cannot be tracked by magical means - that includes by your map, Harry."**

"Oh."

"So… why hasn't she ever told me this?" said Ginny, somewhat hurt.

"Perhaps she's embarrassed, rather like you are about your basilisk extravaganza."

"Can't say I've ever seen one, must be someone else you're thinking of! Oh, sorry. Old reflexes, you know how it is."

Dumbledore, who could no longer walk past a sweet shop without diving in and buying most of their stock, and at the mention of the word "password" couldn't help shouting out various items of confectionary, smiled slightly.

Harry privately decided that Ginny Weasley had some issues.

"Perhaps," said Dumbledore, twinkling slightly, "it would be a good idea to _ask _Luna about these… mysteries."

When the two had closed the door, Dumbledore sank back into his chair and chewed a sweet reflectively. A moment later a tiny shred of a note fluttered down and landed on his desk. He leaned forward and read it.

_Thank you. Apologies for the necessity of lying._

This note burst into blue flames.


	12. Chapter 12

Colin Creevey had just settled down comfortably with a book when there was a sharp whistle from his pocket.

He sighed, took out the piece of paper and stared down at it. Wilbert (who had a young face and spoke with a cockney accent) stared back up at him, smiled, and said, "Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but you have a patrol scheduled in front of the library at 20:00, which is in ten minutes, twenty three seconds and counting."

Colin grunted. "I don't suppose you could have told me this earlier, could you?"

The little picture shook his head, thoughtfully. "I believe, sir, that last time you reprimanded me for warning you too early, since, as you later informed me, it had quite spoilt your day, waiting around for it."

"Well that was only because you told me that I was going to have to patrol _for a whole hour _with Loretta Horn of Hufflepuff, who dislikes me intensely. In fact, you may tell me whenever you like, but do not, _under any circumstances, _tell me _who _I am going to patrol with."

"Yes, sir."

"I prefer to go unknowingly into the fray."

"Yes, sir."

"I should be off now."

"Yes, sir."

"Have I forgotten something?"

"Yes, sir."

"What?"

"You appear to have forgotten your shoes, sir."

Colin Creevey arrived early, and was waiting around in uneasy anticipation when suddenly a voice said, happily, "Oh, hello, Colin" and Luna Lovegood appeared from round the corner.

"Hello, Luna," said Colin in relief, because he had for some minutes been entertaining visions of a discontented Locretta Horn. "I'm patrolling with you, then."

"It appears so," replied Luna in a spooky voice.

"Stop that."

They walked down a couple of corridors in silence, and just as Colin realised that they were heading downwards towards Slytherin, he felt a strong hand clench round his wrist and he was pulled behind a suit of armour. Another hand clamped round his mouth, and Luna's face looked into his, suddenly surprisingly intense.

"Where are we going to get that stuff from? It can melt bone!" A voice said on the other side of the armour.

"Wheredo you think, numbskull?" Hissed a voice, and there was a pause.

"_Oh._ I see. From _him_."

"Never mind him, he was dropped on his head as a baby -" began another.

"Hey!"

"– what we really need to know is where we can brew the potion. There's always someone walking round this place, sticking their neck out – if it's not the Potter kid it's that one who goes round flashing the camera."

Colin gulped.

"The Room of Requirement."

"The Room of Requirement?"

"The Room of Requirement."

"The Room -"

"Stop that!"

The footsteps moved away, and suddenly the grip on his arm was released. He looked up to see that Luna was dreamily looking at the ceiling.

"We have to tell Harry!"

"Sorry, Colin? I was just watching that Spotted Gammock…"

"That's a moth! Now come on!"

Suddenly the corridor was empty, apart from the sound of retreating footsteps. On the ceiling, the Spotted Gammock suddenly flashed silver and began to hum.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry Potter sat in the Great Hall, staring gloomily down at a picture of a giant radish eating a horse. He was bored. Horribly, horribly bored.

A bat flittered past and he watched it, miserably, knowing that it didn't have to do transfiguration homework. Or go to lessons. Or have detentions.

He turned back to his work. Above his head, the bat tried to eat the Spotted Grammock and got electrocuted.

His pocket whistled.

* * *

"What's the matter, then?" Asked a voice from behind them, and Colin Creevey, dragging a dreamily protesting Luna Lovegood, stopped, turned, and stared at Harry Potter.

"Wow, you really do have psychic powers, don't you?" Said Colin, looking up at him.

"What?"

"I always knew it was true. Is it something to do with being struck with that curse as a baby, or is it just inherited?"

"Wha - "

"I suppose you wouldn't know, what with being an orphan, and everything…"

"Colin, my Rota told me."

"Oh."

"Now, what's the problem?"


	14. Chapter 14

As these things often tended to do, they ended with Dumbledore, and the Room of Requirement. They also ended on Tuesday. This was not a thing that often happened,as Tuesday is not a very adventurous day.

The D. A., sat on cushy purple armchairs, were staring towards the front where Harry Potter was gesturing towards a large blackboard on which was written, in large, curly letters:

_**The Plan**_

"… so, in conclusion, has anyone got the foggiest idea what we should do?"

There was the sort of silence where everyone pretended to be thinking desperately but was in fact just waiting for someone else to come up with an idea.

Dumbledore, seated as an honorary member on the larges of the cushy purple armchairs, suddenly stretched, and said, pensively, "May I offer my opinion?"

"Of course, Professor." Said Ginny Weasley from near the front.

"I think that now would be a good time to start making use of your peculiar talents."

There was the sort of silence where everyone decided separately that Dumbledore was a little behind the times and that they wished that someone would come up with a plan.

"Right." Said Harry Potter, finally. "We'll take that right on board then. Now -"

"I have a plan." Said Luna Lovegood, suddenly appearing by his right hand.

"Really? I mean, oh good." Harry handed her the piece of chalk. "Out with it then."

Luna stared at the piece of chalk in her hands expressionlessly for a moment, and then tossed it over her shoulder.

She flicked her wand, and a table grew out of the floor, with a large, 3D map of Honeysmead somehow embedded onto its surface.

Everyone unconsciously crept a little nearer.

"Look, there are even little dustbins!"

"That cat's moving!"

"Ah," said Hermione, "illusions, I suppose. I know how to do that."

A small man appeared in the centre of the map,gave Luna a salute (which she returned dreamily) and then barked, "Ready, ma'am. Please state patrol's number, names, route and action points."

"Ah," said Hermione, and then frowned. "Actually, I have no idea what that is."

There was an audible gasp.


	15. Chapter 15

From where he was still sitting in his armchair, Dumbledore stared over at Luna. She looked up, and for a moment there was no sign of dreaminess in her face; it looked thinner, and more tired - but when she looked at him sudden amusement flickered through her eyes, and he, in return, smiled at her.

Turning to them, she suddenly flung out her arms and bowed with a flourish. "I," said she, "am the Moth."

"Right." Answered Harry, murmured something to Hermione from the corner of his mouth, and readied his wand.

"No, stupid," said Hermione, quickly, "She doesn't mean the animal. The Moth is a hereditary title. It's rumoured that there is a wizarding family that specialises in spying, and, as a favour to Hogwarts, makes sure that there is at least one of their clan in the school at any one time to protect it."

When the rest of the occupants of the room stared at her, Hermione blushed slightly, and said, "Has no one else even read _Hogwarts A History_?"

"That particular piece of information," said Dumbledore, "is not in that book." He looked at her keenly, and said, thoughtfully, "It is, however, mentioned from time to time in the_ Quibbler_. Luna?"

Luna (who had been shaking with violent laughter) stopped and said, slyly, "I may have put it by her bed now and then." Noticing that everyone was now staring at her, she said quickly, "Well, who could resist? And besides, by mentioning it in the _Quibbler, _no one was ever going to believe it was true, were they?"

There was a pause, but everyone continued staring at her. "Why are you staring – oh. I should perhaps mention at this point that I added a little something to that document we all signed after the Sneak got her boils… anyone here who even tries to utter one word about my family to anyone not in the D.A., or hint, or communicate anything about them in any way or form will find themselves with a violent sneezing fit that goes on for sixteen years." She smiled, somewhat unpleasantly. "Although you probably won't last that long, what with not being about to eat, drink or sleep properly. The next time you try it results in instant death."

"And just imagine the cost of the handkerchiefs." Ron whispered.

Luna glanced over at him briefly before rubbing her hands together and grinning down at the board. "And now for some fun." She pointed down at the little man, stood at attention in the centre of the board, just outside The Three Broomsticks. "This is Sergeant Rupert."

"Yes, ma'am!"

"He will help us to coordinate our defence plan by notifying us of important happenings from the present time until the time of attack, alerting our Rotas of relevant information and, sometimes, giving advice to members of the D.A.

"Even more usefully, perhaps, he forms part of this map. Sergeant, I'd like a search of The Three Broomsticks and its occupants, please."

"Yes, ma'am!" Shouted the little man, and he strode manfully into the miniature pub. After a moment or two, a separate section grew out of the map and the members of the D.A. could see the inside of the pub, where Madam Rosmerta leant over the bar serving two witches and a wizard while a group of several mysteriously hooded others appeared to be singing (silently) in the corner, and banging their mugs together.

As they watched, one by one each tiny figure began to glow, some green, some yellow and just one, one of the witches by the bar, a rather vivid orange.

"The green light means that they are completely on our side, the yellow are bordering and red means that they are completely going over – that orange witch has been sidling that way for some time now.

"And if for any reason you wish to get any closer… Sergeant, a close up search of the orange, please."

The separate map zoomed in even closer, until you could see every wrinkle on the orange witch's face.

The tiny sergeant suddenly boomed out efficiently, "Greta Cormstopper, age 56, address: 27A Wimpole Street, Little Pickle, Darbyshire, carrying: one wand, two gobstoppers and some Red Volcano lipstick. Accompanied by -"

"Thank you, Sergeant, that will be all," put in Dumbledore quickly, and then looked round at them all. "I hope you all appreciate this gift, students. It's not often a Moth reveals himself or herself… and even less often that they reveal one of their methods. Toodlepip."

And then he disapperated.

"Hey – didn't you always say that no one could disapperate in Hogwarts or in Hogwarts grounds?" Said Ron to Hermione.

Hermione (looking very shocked) shook her head violently and said loudly, "Very funny, Professor, but we all know that you've just vanished yourself. But come on, the joke is over." She paused for a moment, and looked around suspiciously. "Hello? Fine, I'll just have to catch you myself, then."

"Supper, then?" Harry said to the others, adding, "I always knew something like this would push her over the edge."

They left without a backwards glance, and Hermione,not even noticing their departure, ran around the room crazily, flinging herarmsout andscreaming "Gotcha!" at intervals.

In the corner, Dumbledore giggled, silently.


	16. Chapter 16

Strange as it would seem none of the other members of the D.A. seemed very interested in Luna's fascinating new talents. In fact, none of them mentioned it at all. It was as if some sort of blanketing charm had been put over them that suffocated the usual Hogwarts curiosity. Anyway, whatever the reason behind it, life continued pretty much as usual.

Well, almost.

Luna swatted idly at one of the many moths that seemed to be converging around the school these days and bent even lower over her transfiguration essay, which was unfortunately in for yesterday. Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She bent even lower. Someone tapped her on the shoulder again, more persuasively. She bent even low –

"Hello? Luna? Luna Lovegood?" Said Loretta Horn, and Luna, after a moment, looked up.

"Hello." She replied, and then, after a pause. "Be careful of Hollyhocks. They can do a lot of mischief at this time of year."

"Um, Dumbledore would like to see you in his office."

For a moment the face went carefully blank, and then a small smile edged the corners of her lips. "Oh." She turned back to her transfiguration essay.

"Sorry, but I think he wanted to see you right away." Said Loretta.

She didn't look up, just twitched her fingers irritably and murmured, "So what's up with you and Colin?"

"What?"

"It's just that you always seem to be a little irritated with him these days. Is there something wrong?"

"No!"

"I was only asking. You just seem a little touchy about it."

"I'm not touchy!" She paused and flung a hand through her hair. "I just wish he wasn't so - so – standoffish. Every time I try to talk to him he always has to be somewhere, or he has to do something, or he sees someone that he knows -"

Luna nodded understandingly and then said, "Oh, hello Colin. Didn't see you there."

"Hello Luna." Said Colin. "Hello Loretta."

"Hi." Murmured Loretta, seemingly in a daze, and she slowly pushed her hand through her hair again. "Didn't see you there."

"I know. Listen, I never meant to…"

"I know. I've just been feeling frustrated recently, and then when Luna…" She turned towards her, and then said in a very different tone, "Where _is _Luna?"

Luna was hurrying through the corridors until she found herself just in front of two frowning gargoyles.

"Gobstoppers."

The two stone figures moved apart and she began to climb the stairs behind.


	17. Chapter 17

At the top she paused in front of the door, just as she had done before. But this time the door swung open violently, and she saw her father looking down on her from the doorway.

"Dad - " She said, but he shook his head sharply and then nodded to where Dumbledore was seated in front of his desk, apparently paying no attention.

"Afterwards."

"Ah, Miss Lovegood." Said Dumbledore, suddenly seeming to wake up. He smiled at her kindly. "You seem to have given the DA plenty of things to think about."

"Yes, sir. What are we going to do about Hogsmead, sir?"

"Well, that was just what we called you up here to talk to you about. At the moment we know the following things. There is going to be an attack, at Hogsmead, on the 4th of January at 16:30 exactly. We know that a rather vicious potion will be used which may, according to that overheard conversation, be able to melt bone. We do not know where in Hogsmead the attack will take place. We do not know which, if any, Death Eaters will be involved. We _do _know that this is going to be a very dangerous expedition and therefore it has been decided that neither the DA nor you will be taking any part in its prevention."

Luna looked at him blankly for a moment and then nodded. "I understand."

Her father spoke from the corner where she could just about see him settled back in a chair staring out of the window. "This does not mean that your duties here are over. We still depend on your reports on the activities here in Hogwarts."

Both of them looked at her expectantly but she stayed silent, staring with a sudden interest towards a small globe tucked away beneath some of the papers on Dumbledore's desk. After a moment, Dumbledore spoke. "I suppose that's about that then. I think, Miss Lovegood, that if you have no questions you may return back to your Common Room."

"Actually, Headmaster, I would prefer it if I were able to speak to my daughter for a moment. Would you have any objection if I met her on the grounds for a short while?"

"Not at all."

He turned towards her and looked down at his watch. "Fifteen minutes," he said. "By the lake."

* * *

Luna sat on the bank, gazing out at the giant squid and watching as it played carelessly with a discarded muffin.

"I feel stupid talking to myself." She said.

"Lucky that you're not, then," he answered, wryly, and she felt his arm settle round her shoulders. "I know that it's difficult. Goodness knows that at your age half the things happening at Hogwarts now seemed impossible. But you know that we, as a family, do have - "

"I know." He fell silent, and they sat there together.

"Why can't I do something more? I'm sure that I could be more useful than I'm being at the moment... and the rest of the DA - they'd all be eager to help too -"

"Luna..." he said, and she looked over at him. "You're just children. You do know that, don't you? I know that sometimes it doesn't seem that way but in the end that's the truth. And you're my daughter. I'm not going to put you into any more danger than you're already in, especially when I don't need to."

"Don't you?"

"No. We've been training for something like this for months. If we can't handle it now, we'll never be able to."

Luna drew a deep breath and then suddenly tensed and said, "You'd better go. Someone's coming."

The wind shifted slightly and the pressure on her shoulder lifted. She turned and looked at Colin and Loretta Horn moving slowly towards the tree, grinning at one another, Colin holding yet another banana.

She turned back towards the lake, and, when the couple had passed, watched the giant squid swim slowly towards her. Hesitantly it offered her the muffin and she took it.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry Potter stood over the Hogsmead map, watching a small cat as it roamed around freely, occasionally nosing around the alleys or chewing at a fish bone. He sighed, heavily. His next Transfiguration lesson was tomorrow and he hadn't yet revised for the test. Somehow life always seemed to find something else for him to do. He scratched his nose idly and then sighed again, heavily.

"Erm, Harry?"

The cat was now climbing nimbly over the rooftops, weaving its way through the chimneys and scattering the birds as it passed. He wondered what it would be like to be a cat, sliding its cautious way through life, swishing its bushy black tail as it pirouetted –

"Harry? Harry! Can you hear me?"

"Damn cats," he murmured, and then turned away to see the entire DA grouped around the table, looking at him strangely. "What?"

"We were just a bit worried when you stopped talking half-way through a sentence and started gazing off into space. Is something worrying you?" Said Hermione, speaking slightly more loudly than was perhaps necessary.

He took a deep breath. "Is something worrying me? Is something worrying me? Hmmmm. Let me see. Well, I haven't revised for my Transfiguration exam, I can't find my left sock, the Dark Lord is plotting to kill me, probably at this very moment, and someone, someone who probably won't be living much longer, is _constantly _stealing my bananas which I desperately need to keep up my potassium intake. But apart from that I'm fine. You know -"

"Yes," said Ron. "We do know. We share your pain. Don't feel the need to go into it again on our account."

Colin, blushing furiously, handed him a banana. "Look," he said, and then paused. He turned round and Loretta Horn nodded at him encouragingly. "Look. Erm… I may have… I might have… would you like to have one of mine?"

"Thanks," said the Harry, "you're a true friend."

Colin looked as if he was about to burst into tears.

"_Anyway_," Hermione muttered, "does anyone want to go on with the meeting? After all, we are supposed to be planning how to stop Death Eaters taking over Hogsmead." She turned to Luna. "Has Dumbledore told you any of his plans yet?"

Luna stood up and slid her hand idly over the board, "Not really. I don't suppose that he feels the need to. He says that we will not be needed and that they can take care of it quite nicely themselves."

Someone gasped into the silence, and a group of pale, shocked faces turned towards her. She watched with a detached interest as (in synchrony) they slowly began to turn purple. She bit into her muffin.

When the uproar had diminished slightly and everyone had sat down again, Harry stood up again. "Well. I suppose that's that then. If they don't need our help," he spoke bitterly, "just as they obviously haven't needed our help in the past, then I see no reason why -"

"We shouldn't try to do something ourselves," continued Luna, smiling, "as long as we make sure we avoid all possible nargles."

The DA gave a cautious cheer. Then Maretta said, "Well, what if there really isn't anything that we can do? They seem pretty confident that they've got it all covered. What are we going to do, wander round vaguely and hope that something bad happens? Seems a bit pessimistic to me."

Neville looked round at her. "Of course not. I think we can take it for granted that they'll be doing all the actual fighting of Death Eaters but at least we can tip the scales slightly more in their favour. The Order, not the Death Eaters, of course."

"And how do you suppose we can do that?" Said Harry, scratching his ear.

"Well, all we have to do is make sure that there's always some form of distraction, something to get the Death Eaters confused. We just need to keep attracting their attention away from the Order so that they can't concentrate on the fighting."

Harry scratched his ear. "Right." He turned towards the blackboard and wrote something in clear, block capitals.

STAGE 1: THE PLAN

The DA looked at each other and then gave another cautious cheer.


End file.
